2.28.2010 -- This Weekend

This was a very hectic weekend, dad went into the hospital last Wednesday (the same hospital I lost my David in last year (St Lukes)) Dad was released on Saturday and I went and picked him up. I am so glad and I was sitting in the turnaround I thought this is what it would have been like if I had been able to pick David up and leave. I am so glad that everything went well with Dad! Poor Grant would be just devistated if anything had happened. Harry (David's Dad) took Grant to baseball practice on Saturday morning. I was up and getting everyone ready when they called and offered and I am so thankful because it was cold and I really hate to get her out in the weather but I really had no other choice. While they were gone I was able to get some housework done Katelyn was having her birthday party (11th) on Saturday and we were all well so we were planning on going. Just as I had the kiddos ready to load up and go to the party Dad called and said that they were releasing and he would be ready to walk out in 30 minutes. So Grandma (David's Mom) took the kiddo's to the party while I made a mad dash to go pick Dad up from the hospital (Mom was at work). Then on the way home Dad dropped me off at the party. I am so glad that I was able to make it! I got there just as she was opening the gift that we got her (a charm for her James Avery charm bracelet).

WOW, tomorrow will be one year! One year ago tomorrow I became a WIDOW at 31 while 7months pregnant. Wow! I cannot believe that this is what God has/had in store for me and it amazes me thinking back to when I was a little girl and laughing almost at how everything has turned out. I would have never dreamed that this was what He had in store for me but I am sure that his plan is the best and I am waiting patiently as he reveals it and I would not change one thing if I could go back knowing what I know today. Many people live there entire lives and don't experience the joy and happiness that we had. I had what most people only dream of and I would not trade it for ANYTHING!

Tonight I called his number for the first time since right after he died and I left him a message. I am always thinking about things that I would like to tell him and tonight I did it! I told him thanks so much for everything and how I missed him so much and I told him how much Grant misses him, how he has started playing baseball and how wonderful Aubrey is! I am not sure if this is weird but it felt really good. It was so wonderful to hear his voice again.

2.23.2010 -- One Year Ago Today

Well I am posting this tonight because tomorrow will be so hectic because when I get off of work me and a friend will be flying across town to Bible study. If you live in the Houston area you shoud REALLY consider going it is at Houston First Baptist at 6:30.

One year ago I sat on the edge of his hospital bed and we spoke for the last time. We have done EVERYTHING together since we were 17. We grew up together we knew everything about each other, we were best friends and partners we did everything as a team and we were together until the very end. I still cannot believe he is gone. Some people have mentioned moving on and although I know that he is gone and what we had will never be again I cannot even bring myself to remove my wedding ring. I am sure that one day the time will be right but for now I am not ready. As far as I am concerned I have moved on. I wake up every day and continue to live just like he would have wanted. This will have to work for now.

2.20.10 -- Houston Museum

Today we went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science. Grant had a blast and Aubrey clapped almost the entire time. She was so excited! Grant was really interested in the section on Indians and he insisted that I take his picture inside the mock tepi. We had a really nice day.

It is amazing that we are approaching a year. Tomorrow will be the first day that David went to the hospital. Cancer was not a word in our house yet (ah the good old days) and our life was still normal. We have come a long way since then (even if you cannot tell if from my house).

I really love using David's bible as a matter of fact I have mine sitting on the shelf in our old study (my parent's room for now) and I have been using his since everything happened. It is such a treat to find the little notes that he has left. I found a note that he wrote that had several references to scripture on it and I really enjoyed walking thru them but also written on the piece of paper was "Biblical faith is confidence that God is who he says he is and that he will do everything he promised to do." I am sure that this was a point from a sermon from one of our Pastors and I am really not sure whether it was Brother David or Brother Mike but it made me smile to know that David now sees the rewards of his faith!

I am really looking forward to Tuesday night Bible study this coming week, Beth Moore is leading it at Houston First Baptist and it is on "A Heart Like His" she is amazing. The week before last she said something that has left a mark in my mind and I keep going back to it... she said "no one has ever fully embraced the concept of God alone apart from grave disappointment." I feel like I can totally relate to this statement because as Natalie Grant says "this is how it feels when the sacred is torn from life and you survive" How can you understand that he is there walking with you and carrying you unless you know that there is no way that you could have done it on your own. It makes me laugh when people tell me that I am strong (this is the person that had people spend the night with me when David traveled on business even after Grant was born and the reason we have a dog that is the size of a small horse!) I know that the only reason that I have survived and I WILL survive is because I know HIM and I have a personal relationship with HIM.

2.19.10 -- Aubrey Update

On Tuesday when we went to TX Children's they said that it is time to do Aubrey's surgery to repair her cleft pallet and scheduled the surgery. Well on Friday I decided to call the Shriner's hospital to see where she was on the list and to give up her spot because I did not want to hold a spot if we were going to move forward with TX Children's but when I contacted the Cleft Coordiantor he told me that he was going to call me on Monday to tell me that she had been accepted by Dr. B and to schedule an appointment!!!! I cannot tell everyone how excited I am I feel that God is working in our lives and making everything work out! I can't believe that everything would work out this well without his loving hand in our lives. It is so scary having to make all of the decisions for the children now that David is gone. I never had to worry about anything before because I always knew that he worried enough about everything for both of us!

I will keep everyone posted on how all of this works out but I am so excited that we have an appointment with the Shriner's Hospital in Houston on March 27th!

2.17.2010 -- Dr. Visit

I wanted to provide an update! Aubrey went back to Texas Children's to see Dr. S and he said that it is time to do her surgery. We are now waiting for them to call me back and schedule the surgery. Wow it is kinda scary but I am ready to cross this bridge and move on. Her Speech Pathologist came by and saw her and she said that she was very advanced and she said that she was doing really well.

Grant has his first real baseball practice tonight and Paw Paw took him (thank goodness) we are starting the three practices a week until the games start and I am NOT looking forward to all of this.