10.15.09 -- National Day of Rememberance

I just realized that the 15th was the National Day of Remembrance for Infant and pregnancy loss for all babies that for any reason did not make it. This year I rejoice because many don't know but I have three children, two on Earth and one in Heaven. I do not know the gender of the baby we lost and never named the baby because we did not know the gender but David was instrumental in selecting the good strong names our children have and I am sure that he has done a wonderful naming that one as well and one day we shall all be reunited in Heaven.

It is difficult when you have a miscarriage because you have nothing left on Earth to represent your loss. There is no grave,there was no ceremony, most did not even know that I had been pregnant and the medical staff continually refer to your child as the tissue etc. We grieved alone with a few close family members. The almost two years that followed were extremely rough as well. I did not just have a miscarriage I had an ectopic pregnancy that was extremely difficult to diagnose. I had emergency surgery and I was left with only one functioning tube. During this time Casting Crowns song Praise you in this Storm was such a comfort to me. I told God that if this was the worst storm that I would have to suffer, I could do it. He had blessed me so abundantly with one child and such a rich and fulfilling life and marriage and I was so thankful to him for all of the blessings. I know see that event as helping me, I have lived such a sheltered and protected life and it was the first step in the series to follow which have made me a much stronger person.